Rest in Peace Baby Boy

Sunday night, my little Siamese left the house, but Monday morning he didn't return. I searched and put fliers up, I called and check shelters and websites. I was hopeful. He was smart, athletic, yet afraid. I knew he wouldn't get stolen or hit by a car. He went out every night. I trusted him. I didn't even check across the street. He's too smart to take that risk. Wednesday morning, I get a call that someone has found him, dead. Hysterically, I drive home to find out he is across the street. Seeing his lifeless body tore every ounce of hope and happiness out of me. He had been hit by a car, who knows when. I blame myself for not checking. I could have saved him. He died alone and scared, in pain. This was my baby. He kept me company during every second of my day. Greeted me when I came home and cried when I left. So sweet and caring. He wasn't even 2 years old. I remember saying to myself "I don't know what I'd do without Oliver" and now I still don't. He was like a service pet to my dad and I. He was so incredibly loving and his companionship was irreplaceable. He left behind his buddy that grew up with him too, a Siamese rag doll. I can't replace Oliver, simply because no cat can. Even if I tried, it would feel wrong and empty. I'm so mad and I feel so powerless. He was so amazing. I can't believe he's gone. He's dead. Just like that, ripped from my life. Life is so cruel, this world is twisted. I'll never see him again.