My Sweet little Bird

I am so sad, I just feel terrible every day now. I had a beautiful little Green Cheek Conure that spent every minute with me when I was home, he was so affectionate and protective of me...he would curl up under my chin and fall asleep and loved to be pet on the head and under his wings...I loved playing with this little guy, he would roll over on his back for me to tickle his little chest, then he would kick at my fingers and bite gently...he loved this game and would play this daily. We could not clean the house or do dishes without him wanting to be part of the process...he loved running water and would play in it as long as I would let him. He was an adorable little creature that showed his loving side daily. I left his room on Christmas Eve and did not think he could fly across the rooM so silently or fast...in any case I did not notice he flew to the top of the door, as I pulled the door shut he pushed his head through as quick as he could to be with me, but I had no idea he was up there and the door closed on him and killed him. ..
I cannot get that visual out of my mind and cannot forgive myself for ending his little life this way, I try, but I just cannot get past how he died at my carelessness.I am so heartbroken and sad and will just randomly break out in tears at work and have to run to my office to hide my pain until it subsides enough to work again and cry all night once I am home and my mind is not on work anymore...I am just SO sad now and it feels like this pain will never end!